So Elijah, our five year old, talks and sometimes yells in his sleep. Usually between the hours of 11pm and 2am. Don't worry, I've talked to the doctor about it and he's not worried.
I've heard all kinds of great stuff from him.
I love my kids. Love them with a fierceness that can take my breath away. To know that some may think that I'm not their mom, that they are not my children, because I'm not their birth mother, breaks my heart.
I know of others who are in the same situation, who have heard that, because they married a widower with children, they can mother, but they can't be a mother.
To those who think that someone is not a mother because they didn't give birth to those children, that's fear. Fear of the unknown, the unthinkable. It's the thought that, if that happened to me, if I died, I wouldn't want to be replaced or forgotten.
It can't and won't happen. My children's mom will always be loved and honored. Never, ever forgotten.
They know they have two mommies who love them. Always. They know how special and unique that is.
I posted this awhile back. Here it is again...
One thing that I haven't really talked about on my blog is how Ryan was a widower before we married. The boys were 4 1/2 and 7 months old when they were involved in a series of car accidents one snowy, icy night. The accident put the boys in the hospital and took the life of their mother, Ryan's first wife. It was a tragedy that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Ever.
By the grace of God, Ryan has been able to face the next chapter of his life without the mother of his children. Through prayers, faith and strength...he has been able to move forward.
Ryan, the boys and I got married two and a half years ago. One thing I am amazed by, and so very thankful for, is how easily the boys accepted me as their mommy. Not a step-mom.
When we got engaged Ryan very wisely explained to Austin (Elijah was too little at the time) that we would be getting married, and he would be blessed to have two mommies. A mommy in heaven who loved him so, and a mommy here on Earth that will love and care for him and Elijah. I have been Mom ever since. I love them more than I can say, and am so, so, so amazingly blessed to have two wonderful children to call my own.
Until recently, I had never heard a story similar to ours. One night a couple of weeks ago Ryan, Austin and I were watching the news when we heard the story of vice presidential nominee Joe Biden. He, too, became a young widower after the death of his first wife and baby daughter in a car accident. Their twin boys survived. A few years later, he got remarried to an amazing woman. The following is the story about her. The interview with their son brought me to tears...
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So, six months and three days ago, I turned 30. Thirty! I'm closer to 40 than 20 now. Crap.
Something happened when I turned 30. Used to be I didn't have to work out. I could if I wanted to. Now....I have to. Have to, I tell you! Things are changing, and not for the good.
I'm going to have to start working out on a regular basis now.
Crap.
...Austin informed me that they (he and Elijah) went to space again, but this time they didn't wear their space suits.
They're just not comfortable.
I went to California, and it was great.
However, things have been insane since I got back on April 20th, in the wee hours of the morning. Who am I kidding? The whole month of April was ridiculous. I'm still trying to recover.
Be back soon. Hopefully.
After looking high and low for the OC's theme song by Phantom Planet, I have given up trying to find it on You Tube.
Anyway, I'm in California. After an extremely turbulent flight (I caught air while buckled into my seat), and tons of prayers, I am safe and enjoying time with my sister, Rita and brother-in-law Nick.
While I'm in California, I will be going here.
And here--numerous times. 
And here, I can't wait!
Oh, yeah. We'll also be going to the happiest place on earth. Yea!
Be back Sunday!
