I know of others who are in the same situation, who have heard that, because they married a widower with children, they can mother, but they can't be a mother.
To those who think that someone is not a mother because they didn't give birth to those children, that's fear. Fear of the unknown, the unthinkable. It's the thought that, if that happened to me, if I died, I wouldn't want to be replaced or forgotten.
It can't and won't happen. My children's mom will always be loved and honored. Never, ever forgotten.
They know they have two mommies who love them. Always. They know how special and unique that is.
I posted this awhile back. Here it is again...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
There Are Two
One thing that I haven't really talked about on my blog is how Ryan was a widower before we married. The boys were 4 1/2 and 7 months old when they were involved in a series of car accidents one snowy, icy night. The accident put the boys in the hospital and took the life of their mother, Ryan's first wife. It was a tragedy that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Ever.
By the grace of God, Ryan has been able to face the next chapter of his life without the mother of his children. Through prayers, faith and strength...he has been able to move forward.
Ryan, the boys and I got married two and a half years ago. One thing I am amazed by, and so very thankful for, is how easily the boys accepted me as their mommy. Not a step-mom.
When we got engaged Ryan very wisely explained to Austin (Elijah was too little at the time) that we would be getting married, and he would be blessed to have two mommies. A mommy in heaven who loved him so, and a mommy here on Earth that will love and care for him and Elijah. I have been Mom ever since. I love them more than I can say, and am so, so, so amazingly blessed to have two wonderful children to call my own.
Until recently, I had never heard a story similar to ours. One night a couple of weeks ago Ryan, Austin and I were watching the news when we heard the story of vice presidential nominee Joe Biden. He, too, became a young widower after the death of his first wife and baby daughter in a car accident. Their twin boys survived. A few years later, he got remarried to an amazing woman. The following is the story about her. The interview with their son brought me to tears...
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2 comments:
Thank you for posting this. I am one of the commenters on Tyson Aschliman's blog...I'm the one that wrote about my son Max, who became my son when I married his dad, who was a widower. I have not met hardly ANYONE in my situation, it's been amazing to witness Tyson and Katie go through almost an identical situation as what I have been through, and it has been even cooler to stumble upon your story as well. I have had such a hard time feeling like I REALLY AM a mom...so many people call me a step-mom, or make comments like "That is really neat that Max calls you his mom", etc. etc. I worry so much that someday Max may not see me as his "real" mom, even though he 100% does now. This interview of Joe Biden's son brought me to tears as well. Being a mother truly is so much more than just giving birth. We can become mothers through so many different ways. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for your posting, it made an impact on my life!
You are so very welcome! Your comment on Tyson's blog resonated with me, too!
Isn't it amazing to witness the love that our kids have for us? They have no limits when it comes to their love for their mommies. :)
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